husband doesn t want to go on family vacation husband doesn t want to go on family vacation

No amount of marriage counseling will fix controlling. It was a blast! Ive been to one (and my husband was only jealous of the food), and while I dont like Vegas myself, I cant deny that the Venetian knows how to run a conference. I suspect this has less to to with irrational fears of the big, bad world, and more to do with an outdated, sexist view of the man being in charge of his woman. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. I suspect LWs husband doesnt *really* believe she will be kidnapped in Las Vegas. She needs to act on whats happening, and then maybe delve into the why with AAMs excellent advice. Again, not a concern for either of us. Dude she failed to mention that she hid pictures of her with mail strippers and lied about it and when I seen what pictures she showed me she dressed up better than she ever dresses at home. Long-term meds may not be right, and often take time to work out, but theres several near-instant calming agents available and they could be the best place to start if the Vegas trip is coming up soon. She worries about me being out alone after dark and it gets dark at 4:30 p.m. in the winter here. Id do it again theres a mob museum and some other things Id like to see. Marriage counseling is good for her so she can express her love for me without sounding like a hypochondriac. People cheat in the tiniest of towns. I mean There isnta rash of kidnappings in Las Vegas, and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas is an advertising slogan forcollege students and weddingparties, not a warning to spousesof business travelers. If your husband is otherwise kind and reasonable, its important to know that this is a very unusual stance for a spouse to take, so Im glad youre taking it seriously. Im curious if your husband is perhaps someone who has never really traveled anywhere, and the whole prospect of travel gets his anxiety going? OP, I believe that professional help figuring out what exactly is going on (including ruling in or ruling out a medical cause like primary anxiety or OCD) and getting professional treatment based on that, is the best first step for you here. You really really need to have those shirts washed in that way? And not his fault, it was mine! I can completely see how people who watched the sensational crime shows can imagine the world is terrifying, BUT its TV, *not* real life. Just in case. Theres no scenario that she cant find a worry for. I had half a day free so I went horseback riding in the desert (which was spectacular and I recommend to anyone). Jealous? Vegas is an extremely popular destination for conferences and business trips. Period. Counseling is legit, or ask him to come along. Youve gone before and nothing happened, so why is he still freaking out about it? That hes asked several people for their opinion, and said opinions are I wouldnt let my spouse go to Vegas without me! I think this is a valid suspicion. I know that many conferences are held there, and wouldnt bat an eye at my fiancee going there without me. Wilberforce agrees with meeee!. Choosing your career over your marriage is only possible when your husband turns a normal business situation into an ultimatum. (And yes, counseling 100%, do ASAP since whatever the underlying cause is, not likely to just disappear. Because my husband trusts me. Vegas strip is basically just that a massive neon strip mall with lots of people. When one leaves, its done! The same concerns would translate for a man. If someone tells my son, I am a thief, or. Where is he staying. (Note: relationship = 3-4 months of long-distance dating, which I quickly realized was a Bad Idea.) Im going to second the suggestion of marriage counseling, but I think your husband sounds controlling and unreasonable. Im so glad to see this response here. Time to treat him like a tantruming toddler. Thats it. Im going to Vegas and thats the end of discussion. One day was outside. What about yourself? You won't have to look over, sideways, and under to find out when new Magic Key sales will be open again. Vegas isnt a magical dimension. My wife is suffering from both major depression and anxiety, and she has her individual sessions to work on her mental health issue and were in marriage counseling to work on ourselves as a couple. As to the question of WHY businesses have meetings in Las Vegas, its because the hospitality industry there gets it. Your feigned hysteria of all caps and multiple exclamation points comes across like a rude caricature of people you disagree with. Dont answer the phone? Unless theyre all really churchy (and the OP didnt say), if any of my previous partners said that, Id give it massive side-eye. Personally, I think its far more likely that hes just using others or my friends agree as a generic point in his favor without actually having asked them. And there is plenty to do besides gamble. Oh man, the broken-glass-on-the-kitchen-floor-for-a-month dude! And heres what wethink will help. If I went home today and told my husband, My work is sending me on a business trip to Las Vegas in 3 months, this would be his response: Wow, honey, thats great! Go on the trip. If a person has surrounded themselves with a bunch of people that thinks its normal for one spouse to tell the other what they are/arent allowed to do, thats a beyond red flag. Either way, its important for both ofyou tocommunicate about such animportant issue sothat things dont escalate further than necessary. My husband was very upset. In THAT case, that is a super not-normal response, and its very strange that theres a whole group of people who support this thinking. FYI: I mean crazy in a flippant sense not as an insult to any mental health issue. It would never occur to him to equate a dang business conference held anywhere outside of a strip club with sexual abandon. Projecting your particular set of issues on to everyone else really is not helpful. 4. Who the hell lies about going on vacation with family while simultaneously depriving you of a partner, coparent, and also seeing your own family. Next time, instead ofgoing ontrips together, try eating out orgoing for apicnic. But regardless, he needs to respect the demands of her job and treat her like an adult. ? and his friends being like yeah man, Vegas is a scummy place for scummy people. When you try to say you wont let me do something, that tells me that you think Im too incompetent to make an appropriate choice on my own, which is really disrespectful. She has thus far missed out on several family gatherings and her best friends wedding, because her husband could not get off time to go. Its just Vegas (and Disney) are more designed to keep you inside their controlled, predictable corporate environment so as to better separate you from your money. We hike through Red Rock Canyon or the Valley of Fire. Sounds great. Caveat: I dont think scheduled calls ALONE will solve OPs issue. But Im not at all confident this is the source of the husbands issues :(. I mean sure its possible hes found someone that shares his view, but I think its mostly him just hearing what he wants to hear. Its in Las Vegass best interests to keep visitors safe. I have informed him and he hasnt taken it very well. It isnt like the reputation just happened by accident. OP, I feel for you and your husband. When does his flight land? Because this thing where he insults the moral character of his beloved wife based on the fact that she needs to travel for work? These dudes tend to not understand how little theyre contributing in any significant fashion, and theyre shockedshocked!when the women theyre with realize whats going on and leave them. The only sides are you both addressing a bad frame of reference that your spouse has. Thats a very important distinction to make, between thing in and not in the LWs control. We stay at mid-level resorts and usually pay about $40 a night. Hes worried the worst would happen: I cheat, someone spikes my drink, someone kidnaps me He says he has asked other people about the situation and everyone objects that they would even let their significant other go. It also couldnt be. Yes, you can absolutely get yourself in serious trouble in Vegas but you can also have the most dull weekend imaginable. If this is a regular occurrence, it could be indicative of a larger problem, such as marital strife. It feels as if the OPs husband is just latching onto the location as an excuse. Id say the chances are > 50% that this guy never asked anyone anything. I was thinking the same thing. But also, my aunt and uncle are pretty bigoted and I know they modeled the idea of a submissive wife and dominant husband for my cousin. Be direct, and even brutally honest: Im not having this conversation (& hang up); Im not doing this again (& walk away); Im not changing my mind; Im not negotiating Im giving you the facts Basically, lots of Im not/I cant/I wont statements that are all about you and your limits. While it has its own series of potential problems, leaving him in a hotel room in Vegas all day while shes in conferences might bore him into realizing the reality of the place. Its not legal in Las Vegas, although theres probably a lot of escort services, youre probably thinking of Reno, where they have legal brothels that have to follow a ton of regulations. he needs to straighten hisstuffout. Which is actually one of the reasons why I think this is not just a control issue. Not sure which update youre looking atshe says she meant wouldnt in that sentence, which means exactly what Coffee Lover is saying. Just because some of the people in that culture are ok with it doesnt mean its magically not controlling behavior because its culture/religion. He needs to manage his insecurities and not force them all on you and your career. Also, in some (not all) work situations, it would be quite weird and out of step for someone to bring their spouse along. I'm lucky that she slept for most of the trip, but you can't assume that a 3 month old will sleep for 14 hours. At such time as we see abuse brought up as gratuitously as anxiety is, you might just have a point. Its also an irrational state of fear and I think people forget what that means. Havent read the comments to see if this is talked about yet, but I feel like religion has a play here I can see uber conservative religions having more problems with this situation than anything else. A pregnant woman recently asked the internet for advice after her husband refused to attend any of their doctor appointments. And actually, trips apart are GOOD for our relationship, we miss each other like crazy after the first two days and it strengthens our bonds (and snuggles) when were reunited. There are several important issues to consider, however, when deciding if your husband should go on vacation with you. I will never ever return or step foot in an obnoxious casino. All of Nevadas legal brothels are in rural areas. I think this is a little parochial, in fact. Vegas has a convenient airport, massive conference facilities, and tons of hotels that cater to business travelers.