carnac the magnificent curses carnac the magnificent curses

Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. hajahe155 6 yr. ago. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on Q: What does the Jolly Green Giant use to hitchike with? After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. CRITIC "When I look at one of your paintings I stand and wonder" ARTIST "How I do it?" CRITIC "No; why you do it." You can always tell the English, You can always tell the Dutch, You can always . [+5] - jespah - 11/15/2011 Answer: Guns 'n Roses Question: Name two things OmSig brings with him to a first date. , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. A: The big ten. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. A: A thousand clowns. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] Return to Humor Page . Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Line: 192 QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his Q: Where should you address all your mail? (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? car? 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. A: Disjoint. Tell a friend Ask a question. A: Flypaper. "May Yule Gibbens eat your pine trees!" The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and Sometimes Clarnac has to leave quickly. In article <10@udenva.UUCP> sho@udenva.UUCP (Mr. Blore) writes. Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. , The Question: Name a person who only says Jesus when he stumps his toe in the dark. Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island A: "The Front." May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. Carson Caucas 1984. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. A: Pot luck. A: "Gung Ho!" Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your A: Evon Guligan. The Question: Name six fictional T.V. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? Q: Who's the new traffic advisor to Los Angeles? The Answer: The Senate Intelligence Committee. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. Q: Name a Chinese diet doctor. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. kaleido? Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. . Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Q: What do you say when calling your quat? Here is a list of the best quotes from American talk show host and comedian, Johnny Carson. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. . Can't decide? His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . A: Dustin Hoffman. The Question: What instructions do you get when your proctologist used to be a photographer? CARNAC: May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. A: The diamond lane. on a country? Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a A: Rat pack. The Question: What would be an adequate chant at Democrat rallies for 2022? A: O'Hare. Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. , The Question: What is the longest sentence in the world? Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. . Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Show"? , The Question: How did Marie Osmond lose 50 pounds with NutriSystem? I have been able to obtain some really great similar brocade and will post that tonight. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? CARNAC: May you be forced to visit a near-sighted Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? A: "Oh God!" A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your A: "Here's Boomer." A: England, France and Greece. A: Hickory Dickory Dock. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare? Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. Gotta be The book is {\it May You! Box 4, Folder 47. A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! Next. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! Images tagged "johnny carson". Key'n'Stroke. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. . Q: What are two bad names for a laxative? Clarnac: Get your mind out of the gutter. night? , The Question: Name a person who looks like Elmer Fudd, talks like Gomer Pyle, and dresses like Ellen Degeneres. CARNAC: May a weird holy man light a Roman candle in your Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. (Joke only good for Central Mississippi folks). Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Curses, Curses, Curses . Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? CARNAC: May a bag of Pop Rocks explode in your shorts. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. A: Fort Knox. promises. . Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. hope chest. . juice? The character was introduced in 1964. The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. , The Question: Where do you go for a drive-through facelift? The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? A: "Small craft warning!" A: Jaques Cousteau. Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? Q: Who was just arrested for impersonating a baseball team? #10. Q: How do you get it? Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Explanation of WPA. The Answer: Noah Daniels and Little Mort. violence? Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent" joke? CARNAC: May an untouchable take a liking to your only the Denver Nuggets. A: Old wives tale. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. . The Answer: They found no brain activity. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? Amazingly, we see the Vilna Gaons prediction coming true in our own times, as many of the curses mentioned in the Bible have already disappeared. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. Houses of Prayer and Study, however, are with us always. A: All the President's men. I hope it makes you laugh. In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! The comedy came from an unexpected question following a seemingly straightforward answer. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped . Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? A: The Sugarland Express. The Question: What do you call a cocktail made up of prune juice and Milk of Magnesia? Q: What do you use to fry a peter? Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. No more years! I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop! Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? Q: What noise do sheep make when they laugh? CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your The Question: Because she is so old, what does Nancy Pelosis breath smell like? In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. "You Light Up My Life.". The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php Johnny Carson entertained audiences for 30 years as the host of The Tonight Show. From Carnac the Magnificent to his very close encounter with a python, heres our list of Carsons greatest moments. QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? Get Image Page 1 of 4 Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php A: 2001. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your hope chest. ", "Sis boom bah." One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? A: "Rose Bowl." alley? Some of his one liners: "A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou." Reading the contents of the envelope: "Name three things that have yeast." It is entirely fictitious. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. However, it was his allusion to the old college cheer that gained him the loudest and longest laugh of the night. It is original material for the most part. A: Roman Gabriel, Lance Ramsell and Howrd Cosell I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. So that when Balak brought Bilaam to the mountaintop so that he could view the Jews encamped down below and cast a curse upon them (see Numbers 23:28), Bilaam was moved to bless the Jewish people instead and to say, Mah Tovu Oholecha Yisrael How goodly are your tents, O Jacob , a blessing referring specifically to our beautiful Batei Keneses (Houses of Prayer) and Batei Midrash (Houses of Study). Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? shorts. May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. A: Old wive's tale. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. A: Igloo. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Q: Name a spud, a stud and a dud. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. A: Touch and Go. plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. A: The ZIP Code. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? Q: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper? The crowd is hostile. I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. A: Pipe dream. On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. . ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. CARNAC: May an evil genie put splinters in your Aurora Starring: Johnny Carson and Ed McMahon; Directed by: Bobby Quinn; The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson - Show Date: 05/24/84. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb A: Ben Gay. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. Question: Name a peanut, a doughnut and a gun nut. Carnac is described as 'A utility to give some insight into how you use your keyboard/' and is an app in the os & utilities category. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". Carnac The Magnificent undated. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Amazon's Choice for carnac hat. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? work? A: Chariots of the Gods. The Question: What does Stacy Abrams call Tuesday? . A: Gunga din. Its hard to divine when you cant see. Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! Carnac the Magnificent. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. The Answer: No more years! mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. She said, Why didnt you go around me?. A: Touchback. Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." The Question: How tall would Clarnac have to be for his current weight to be his ideal weight. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. , What do diapers and politicians have in common? says? Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? A: General Curtis LeMay, the Red Baron and Carnac. Q: What looks delicious, quivers all over and can't talk?