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MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. Nothing will change. Matilda: I need a car, inexpensive but reliable. Matilda's teacher? Zinnia Wormwood: To read? Her mind is incredible. Michael: Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. [chanting with the rest of the class] Matilda Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. We're not rich. . And for the good of those - PUTRESCENT LITTLE CHILDREN! Angrily, MISS TRUNCHBULL looks from NIGEL to MATILDA and back. As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? Amanda Thripp: That's all right, Jenny. You want Matilda to go to college? I don't know if my nerves will make it until tomorrow. MATILDA Hmm. Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. And the second part is Chokey! MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Are you being smart with me? 1. . What're they going to do, repossess the kid? How does that sound? The desks descend into the ground. A life. Tricks!" There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . And so it was, they decided to perform the most dangerous feat ever known to man! In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. MATILDA [He throws the cigarette into the audience.] Harry Wormwood: Trunchbull: I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Yes, Miss Trunchbull! . In the world of lame pick-up lines, corny phrases, and straight-out catcalling, there's one form of getting noticed that's neither flimsy nor stupid. She stops in triumph. . Let me tell you something, son. Bruce Bogtrotter: When the hinges creak and the door is closed, google_ad_width=120; Yes, Miss Trunchbull, please, you can! TOMMY $5,000? . | Share this Matilda : I love it here! A spotlight makes its way across the letters on the board, finally settling at the end on the letter Z. MRS WORMWOOD MR WORMWOOD Looks like rain. MAN: So hilarious. Marvellous. . . When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. DOCTOR MRS WORMWOOD . You see, the Trunchbull's cake was so good that I'd scoffed it down too quick, and now it was beginning to fight back. [to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers] Then get out of town. I'll tell you tomorrow. . That's not fair at all! An exception. She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. Merriam-Webster defines a "pick-up line" as "a prepared remark used by a person to start a conversation with a stranger they are interested in having a romantic relationship with". The Wormwoods laugh. Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. Good show. MR WORMWOOD Crazy Credits 1 0 obj MR WORMWOOD Amanda Thripp: If you want to throw the hammer for your country. She says they make me look pretty! MISS HONEY Now, look at you, and look at me. The stage goes black. I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. MATILDA MRS PHELPS It's just that they want that child so very much. I think you've got something in your eye. 100 Best Pickup Lines for Girls That Actually Work | by Qasim Adam | ILLUMINATION | Medium 500 Apologies, but something went wrong on our end. . MATILDA The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. We all get carried away sometimes. MRS WORMWOOD I'm the best! BIG KID [BEN] CHILDREN 2 Don't be pathetic! Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Harry Wormwood had unintentionally given his daughter the first practical advice she could use. MR WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL What have I told you about wearing pigtails? Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? Please. Zinnia Wormwood: MR WORMWOOD People whispered that in her dark and brooding heart, she resented the sister, both her success and her love. The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. Doesn't mean that you just have to grin and bear it. Dirty dealings, like buying stolen car parts, never stay secret for long, especially when the FBI gets involved. You'll be punished so seVerely if you step out of line. They are good runners, sir. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. Uh, welcome to Wormwood Motors. I sold it for $7,839 big American boffo's. I don't know anybody who did. Your mommy is a TWIT! Could I speak to you for a moment, please? The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. LAVENDER Only when they deserved it, of course. Each newborn life a canvas yet unpainted, Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? You don't let me talk to people! Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. You're off to school in a few days' time. Harry Wormwood: This boy's got no fingie. Now, this is much harder, so don't worry if you don't get it. BOTH: What a dear! . Harry Wormwood: Look! He stands up on a block. Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? [into recorder] Mum, would you like to hear a story? 3 0 obj [His stomach growls.] "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". The end is happier. My daddy says I'm his special little guy. I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). . I'm fed up with all this reading! MATILDA THE MUSICAL. Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky! They're individual! Are you going to tell me a story or not? "Bambinatum est magitum." MRS WORMWOOD is behind the curtain. The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". MISS HONEY enters and erases the board. You're better off raising tomatoes. Stop! I'll be watching you, each and every one. Gloria Magitum! . What car? Don't be pathetic! . and look at reading. . Mrs. Wormwood: You can be all cynical, "Lovely"? MISS HONEY faces the audience and raises her fist. I warn you, sir, I want a tight car, because I run a tight ship. MATILDA Agatha Trunchbull: BIG KID [TAYLOR] (Bruce!) %PDF-1.5 . [Harry takes his first look at Matilda, grunts, and leaves]. [while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach] They then saunter off. From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? . off to prison you both shall go!". Hand's shaking. It is, is it? And I will Teach you a thing or two. For those idiots out there who don't know how to play, here's how it goes. Am I . And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. . [He takes out a cigar and takes hold of the baby.] I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! MRS WORMWOOD Well, I'd better hang around just in case. If you cooperate, we'll make sure it's a nice orphanage. Come stai? [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X. . And now she's after me! MATILDA picks up various bottles from the vanity and reads from their labels. You're a little cheat, you saw the paper. But the thing was, I was having a lot of trouble with my belly. And instead of a musical fanfare, there was silence, as he solemnly strode into the room. Dinner time is family time. . The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. Harry Wormwood: Trunchbull: A member of the mafia! Matilda: 2. 9:17 is correct. Not dressed in hospital cotton, So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. MRS WORMWOOD Quick, jackets! 2022 | Maturity Rating: PG | 1h 56m | Kids & Family Movies. A single slice, MR WORMWOOD enters, puffing on a cigarette. To hammer throwing, life, and school There's more the second part. It's a good thing I have my library. . It's the mileage. No "buts". Agatha Trunchbull: Chew your food; you're an animal! A celebration of all the wonderful green things in the world, like, er, oh, like lettuce, and snot. Erm, well, as you know, Matilda is in the bottom class. Come in, come in, whoever you are. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. "It is where the loneliness of life has led us.". ERIC, TOMMY, and BRUCE And good luck with the Tolstoy. Mum says I'm a good case for population control. . Matilda Wormwood! The more that you try, Here in the library again, are we? 2. Three times two is six. ". Over the course of the song, she writes on the board: "Copy one million times by tomorrow. Jenny: You will be put away in a place where not even the crows can land their droppings on you! But I'm his little soldier. Agatha Trunchbull: I didn't do anything! Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. BIG KIDS This still, unbroken skin, Why don't you run away? Harry Wormwood: Yourself, Matilda? MATILDA And worst of all, when the girl was five, her father died. No one's gonna love you if you don't know the rumba. Didn't we?! MISS TRUNCHBULL Agatha Trunchbull: Yes! MISS TRUNCHBULL I swear, I won't take our love for granite. It's sweet and romantic, and it's doubtful she'll be able to resist your charm. If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, 1. You can't. . [He throws the phone to the lackey.] I wish my pillow was as huggable as you. Considerably roomier inside. Is your nickname glucose? Might she be a little brighter than her class? Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess. And sailed high up, up above the stands DOCTOR MR WORMWOOD RUDOLPHO saunters over and holds his arm out to MISS HONEY. Matilda: Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: Glad I never was one. No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. Yep! Past Matilda. When lights come up again, AMANDA is gone. xYoH)SSY w:!>8615Nqrf Ukg73y,=zr%|X*p ao{~~O{Hp '|\|WOKk%eMJ|lKi@w+g#ZIW0uCAp`i Harry Wormwood: CHILDREN A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS take off their blazers and throw them on top of him. When a person is bad, that person has to be taught a lesson! My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. Where are the children's books? He had meant to say, "When a child is bad." There's not a lot of difference in size. . Imagine what she is going to do to a horrible, squeaky little goblin like you, boy. Matilda: <> See! Matilda: Eat. The announcer from MISS TRUNCHBULL's videos starts commentating. She sat down, and when she got up . The fibers fused to my hair! Lord knows we've tried. I didn't go to college. Michael: Amanda Thripp: There's a place you are sent if you haven't been good. [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. . You useless, used-car-salesman scum! so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. . The 3rd cost $68. He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! [Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage]. And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? I always compete, doctor. One look at my face and it's plain to see. A girl should think about make-up and hair dye. Now, do any of you know any of your two times tables? Stand back, son! I have suffered in this Jail, MISS TRUNCHBULL What is this, a hot tub party? It was the biggest burp I had ever heard. 9:17, suspect exits domicile. Upon the blackboard is written the alphabet. Well, I suppose your mother will be waiting for you. NIGEL They will probably say: "Yuck!" 3. The endings are often a little bit gory! The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. [wielding a hammer throw] MISS TRUNCHBULL Miss Honey: Trunchbull: . I shall pound you. I hope you've enjoyed these lines and had a laugh! Miracle! DOCTOR [on the phone, yells] Can I ask you a question? We never thought it was possible, BIG KIDS MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO . It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. You seem to think that people like people what are clever. I think we'd better leave it there, Nigel. DOCTOR and CHILDREN You'll fit it in. Mr. Wormwood: Sixteen times two is thirty-two. With her, it's all "books" and "stories". They sits and unpack their bags. The teacher's clearly falling short. Harry Wormwood: [They start chattering. This clot, this foul carbuncle is none other than a disgusting criminal! MATILDA You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. So they say. MATILDA holds her a dramatic pose, holding the large book above her head. Matilda's been here all morning. Where is the maggot known as Nigel? See who wins. Matilda: I'm the best! I can be a soldier. Before I first heard the pealing of the bell. NIGEL runs in up the steps stage left, screaming. Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. Mr. Wormwood: "I have paid for the posters, publicity, the catering, the toilet facilities. Babes, I'm on fire, here! To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. DOCTOR What we all suspected. All the while, AMANDA's screams get louder. The most common thing in life is life . A little less head, a lot more derriere. I can pretend I'm an . . MATILDA [She turns the screens back on.]. [the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house]. No, but don't people need good cars? Written by Trunchbull on the blackboard: BRUCE The Invisible Man . Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. Harry Wormwood: She holds up the final "10". But not just to see their skill, but also to see their love for each other, which was so deep that it was said that cats would purr as they passed them, and dogs would weep with joy. Who the hell do they think they are? I think you'll want your trousers loose. I will not say anymore! ALICE and HORTENSIA Useless, flamin' car! Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. Great, big, question-asking . . "Escapologist", he says! Bruce! [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. MRS PHELPS Very supple. NIGEL We cannot simply place her in the top form with the eleven-year-olds. In . It was the biggest burp I had ever heard, the biggest burp I had ever heard about. Flashbulbs go off. MR WORMWOOD MISS HONEY knocks three times and winces. "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. [Miss Trunchbull has accused Matilda of going into her house]. Matilda: Here we are, my heartstrings! Haven't I just told you that she is a gangster? I stole the cake. RUDOLPHO Nine times two is eighteen. I think in effect, Michael chokes the carrot]. It's your fault. Completely different cars, sir. Who you been talking to? MATILDA And yet every single life, Why? Eleven times two is twenty-two. Okay, my boy, heir to the throne, today we diddle the customer. Agatha, This is Magnus. MR WORMWOOD You cannot see squat . Agatha Trunchbull: It is delineated into "His" and "Hers" sides.] It was like the entire world went silent for that "Come with me, and I'll show you why it's called the Shrieking Shack.". You're only four years old. You wanted cake, you got cake! Pizza is my second favorite thing that I eat in bed. Matilda: Agatha Trunchbull: But I didn't . No! MISS TRUNCHBULL "'The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage', and it is the most dangerous feat ever known to man! . . For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Look, I don't suppose we could exchange it for a boy, could we? And if you want to teach success, And each night, the children of the town would wait in anticipation, hoping for a glimpse of the shiny white scarf that the acrobat always wore, for then they knew that they had only to cry, "Tricks! Well, then stop her reading! MISS HONEY, dazed, follows the dance as best she can. You have to force the little squits to toe the line! And you know where you'll end up? Bruce! Narrator: One hundred and fifty-five brand new luxury cars, sir. . Okay! . MRS WORMWOOD Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. The table stops and the hands hit the ground. MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. 4. She went on olden-day sailing ships with Joseph Conrad. Dad says I should watch more TV. MISS TRUNCHBULL Miss Honey: If you took your time , CHILDREN A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. You should stay out of trouble MATILDA MATILDA Others take a less emotional approach. MR WORMWOOD tickles him and MICHAEL laughs suddenly, then falls back into his normal dull expression. Maybe you used some of mummy's peroxide by mistake. Find the bally line and toe it, Don't be disgusting! COUPLE 1 and . MR WORMWOOD exits while MATILDA runs into her bedroom, flings the door open, and climbs onto her bookshelf. [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house].