There is a slight chance that he’s doing this not because … If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. If your life is currently too busy to include me in your circle of friends — or … In 2017, researchers found evidence that communicating through speech as opposed to text has a profound impact on what we think of people, and reminds us of their human qualities. When you tell a lie you're giving them reasons not to trust you or worse, you're coming up with a whole fiction you'll have to remember. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. Most people need to grow-up IMO. Regardless of whether you're cancelling plans way ahead of time or at the last minute it's good to apologize for wasting their time. In this instance it’s easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and Saying you have a headache means not only are you 1. a jerk this one time, you’re also 2. a liar, something which does more damage to the long-term relationship. forsaken. They’ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologize and tell them why (if appropriate). The usages in def. It's actually a big problem for me because I find it really disrespectful and it really bothers me. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"1"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-1"} ); Just imagine what he is like as a boyfriend! Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying “Maybe” or even “Yes” to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. Apologize honestly and they'll be much more likely to take your side. They've blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behaviour: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. Please acknowledge that. When someone flakes on you, it could be due to a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful. left behind. I actually disagree with “don’t make bogus excuses.” “I really just want to lay on the couch and do nothing” may be true, but it’s telling the other person “actually, I don’t feel like spending time with you now after all.” Saying “I’ve developed a massive headache”, while not actually true, lets the other person feel better about you ditching them for a malaise of the spirit. Which leads us to our next tip. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. }. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. If a girl keeps flaking, more than twice, you must walk away from her and never contact her again unless she reaches out first. This might be as simple as, "I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now." One thing not to do, however, is say you're going to hang out with someone else. ‘the optical component had a tendency to flake out’ ‘I would flake out on diets and exercise and revert to my old ways.’ ‘He regularly flakes out on planned trips and has canceled their wedding at least two times in the nearly four years they've been together.’ Photo by Alfonso Surroca. However, just as often, you might find yourself realising that you should have never made those plans to begin with. Please acknowledge that. Submitted by Geoffrey from San Francisco, CA, USA on Apr 22 1999. Another word for flake out. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use … But all too often, we’re just tired, and looking for to legitimise our laziness. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you've canceled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. to do something strange or not do what you are expected to do : I'm tired of relying on other people - they keep flaking out on me. -hot girls are flake outs as a general rule, it's … If you’re way attractive and I want to date you there’s a pretty high chance I’m … Suck it up and accept the fact you're a jerk. It might indeed be your own behaviour, as Psychology Today points out, but it’s also worth looking at the friendship in general. Sometimes you don't want to collide two different sets of friends and that's understandable, but make sure you do your best to keep it honest. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? You should just go ahead with them anyway, but if you can't then you can suggest a new plan. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don't over-commit. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"2"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-2"} ); Attempt to reschedule if possible. Photo by Wonderlane. This might be as simple as “I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now.” Of course, it might also be a real emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. quit. Want to learn more? Your best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here's how to do it gracefully. Feinstein advises, “You are lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of man he is. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can't make it. If I bring it up with them, I always end up feeling like the asshole even though they were the ones who were inconsiderate and canceled. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. [1] Okay, now let’s look at the word flake: as a noun, one definition of flake is a single turn or several turns of rope in … Instead just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. Attempt to reschedule if possible. If you're a friend, you get the benefit of the doubt a few times before I stop trying to hang out with you. dumped. flake out 1. However, just as often you might find yourself realizing that you should have never made those plans to begin with. How about you? Find more similar words at wordhippo.com! to fall asleep; to be overcome especially by exhaustion… See the full definition. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can't keep, but it's not always possible and things are bound to come up. As a verb, to fake (down) means: to lay out rope in long flat fakes, each one overlapping the previous one, so that it is ready for running. As I’ve said a few times already, flaky friends aren’t reliable and you can’t have … I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you’ve cancelled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? Instead, just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. broken with. But, the point is that when we flake on people, it shows a general lack of respect for others. To fail to meet someone … Perhaps you realised later on that you don’t want to hang out with that person. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. Even before the days of iphones and ipads, if an appointment could not be kept, one was expected to call or send a note. But I probably just need to get over myself. Now you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox. I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions people might have. Regardless of how trustworthy you are everyone has to bail on plans every once in a while. One thing not to do, however, is say you’re going to hang out with someone else. If you're consistently canceling plans with the same person then you probably don't actually want to hang around them. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. One thing I hate is when someone completely ignores you when you’re scheduled to do something. ditched. flake out Slang 1. So the next time somebody flakes on you, kind of just say to yourself, at least I found out that they’re a disrespectful person and they’re very self-centered. Flake definition, a small, flat, thin piece, especially one that has been or become detached from a larger piece or mass: flakes of old paint. Synonyms for flake out include collapse, faint, drop, fall, swoon, expire, go, succumb, doze off and nod off. What do I do about this? screwed. If the answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying. Get new friends. To flake out on someone It is exceedingly rude. quitted. Sometimes it’s for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers, you have to tell the truth when you flake out. Etiquette blogger Emily Adamiani sums it up like so: Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologise and tell them why (if appropriate). if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { Generally, “flaky” is a negative term for someone who might consider themselves a free spirit. broke with. Of course, it might also be a true emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. }. marooned. Flake out definition is - to fall asleep. If that doesn't work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. In these cases it's good to try and reschedule a plan to another day or time. Next time someone flakes via text, Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what's up. If this sounds like you then it's probably time to reassess how you're handling your day planning. See more. flake out 1. When confronted with their behavior they usually get defensive and run away. Photo by Andrew Yee. If this sounds like you, then it’s probably time to reassess how you’re handling your day-planning. Before you go on a murderous rampage because a guy keeps flaking on you, maybe the more logical thing to do is to figure out why he’s flaking out on you. Enter your email below. Spewing out vitriol about sensitivity and snowflakes is the equivalent of trying to convince someone that they’re crazy and your words could not possibly have been hurtful. It's simple, but it's a good point to remember. Give him the benefit of the doubt. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when the planned day comes around, you remember that you hate amusement parks. abandoned. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behavior a little: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. If the answer is no, your behavior needs modifying. Don't flake. Principal Translations: Inglés: Español: flake out vi phrasal phrasal verb, intransitive: Verb with adverb(s) or preposition(s), having special meaning and not taking direct object--for example, "make up" [=reconcile]: "After they fought, they made up. At least now you only have to wait 25 minutes instead of longer later on.” You probably won’t have to worry about him flaking on you after this. Privacy Policy. In this instance it's easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. }. Honesty is always the best policy. This also lets the woman know that you aren’t going to chase her because you don’t care if you see her or not. 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “eccentric.” [c. 1970] 5 Perhaps you realized later on that you don't want to hang out with the person. 2. Yes, I wish to receive exclusive discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners. You’re too attractive. You should just go ahead with them, but if you can’t, then suggest a new plan. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. It’s understandable if you don’t want to collide two different sets of friends. But if a group of friends is just going out for a drink … Noun: the act of flaking out -so remember that hot girl with half her tits showing from the bar, I was going to have dinner with her last night but the bitch flaked out. I'm a stickler for punctuality and following through on plans, but my main social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can’t make it. orphaned. These people don’t stay my friends for very long. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when they planned day comes around you remember that you hate amusement parks. Submitted by Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999. You've taken someone's time from them. If that doesn’t work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. Sometimes it's for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. Anyone who flakes on another has no excuse. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. It might indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, but it's also worth looking at the friendship in general. So I'm curious about something. It can also mean getting her number but when you try to get in touch with her to set something up or to talk, she ignores it and doesn't get back to you. Jane doe promised to go out with me. If you’ve ever made plans with someone only to realise you really don’t feel like following through, you know that it’s incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without coming across as a jerk. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans, you might realise it’s not really your style. It would have bugged me less if she’d lied and said she was busy! “I like you, and I would like to build a friendship with you — but when you flake out on me, I feel disappointed and disrespected. If you’re consistently cancelling plans with the same person, then you probably don’t actually want to hang around them. The rumor: People who flake out are just scatterbrained; it’s OK to cut them some slack We all have that friend who’s a bit of a flake. You’ve taken someone’s time from them. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? Whether someone will be upset if you flake out depends not only on the person but also on the situation. Find more ways to say flake out, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. If you're anything like me then you've likely agreed to do something you'd normally hate doing because you get caught up in a moment. Go crazy; also, cause someone to go crazy. For example, not showing up to someone’s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social circle. Another word for flake out: collapse, faint, pass out, swoon, lose consciousness | Collins English Thesaurus 3. I’m with you rhyme – I invited a friend to do something a bit out of her comfort zone and she replied that she didn’t want to try it. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can’t keep, but it’s not always possible, and things are bound to come up. Photo by Alfonso Surroca. if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { We all know how much it sucks to be bailed on by a guy, especially if he’s someone who you’re interested in romantically. It's all fun and games until someone beats your h... Take the quiz; True or False? siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"out-of-page-mobile","provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_out-of-page-mobile_section-index-1"} ); If you’re anything like me, then you’ve agreed to do something when you get caught up in the moment. Just make sure you do your best to keep it honest. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. Don't flake on me. Suck it up and accept the fact you’re a jerk. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. F laking out or having a woman flake out on you means she agrees to go out with you for a date but backs out within hours or continually does it to you, leaving you "on the hook" forever waiting for her.. While the event might seem inconsequential to you it's possible your friend set aside a large block of time to hang out and you're ruining that. stranded. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. I understand that we only have 24 hours in every day. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. Photo by Andrew Yee. jilted. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. forsook. Don’t flake. I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. How about you? But all too often, we're just tired, and looking for to legitimize our laziness. Photo by Wonderlane. [clear], if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { For example, She just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, or This project is flaking us out. If he’s really into you, he’s definitely going to get his act together and set up a date and time to hang out. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans you might realize it's not really your style. Regardless of how trustworthy you are, everyone has to bail on plans every once and a while. Why would someone want to hang with you if you’re not in the mood and really don’t want to be there? Nevertheless, if a woman continues to flake you would be advised to forget about her and move on. Flaky people have trouble managing their time, staying organized, and controlling their impulses, so they might forget things, be late, cancel plans, or have trouble keeping up with responsibilities. To renege, as on a social engagement: Sorry for flaking out on you last night—I had to work late. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions you might have. deserted. Remind yourself it isn’t your fault. Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying "Maybe" or even "Yes" to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don’t over-commit. abdicated. left. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? If you're an acquaintance and you flake, I don't really give a shit. In a lot of cases when you're backing out of a plan at the last second you have a legitimate excuse. Backing out, or giving up.She flaked on me. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. They want fake more than they want real. I'm probably not trying to hang out with you ask that much anyway. Apologise honestly, and they’ll be much more likely to take your side. “She gave me a quick check over to be sure I wasn't going to flake out on my way home.” Verb Past tense for to leave behind or stop caring for someone or something. When you tell a lie, you’re giving them reasons not to trust you, and you’re coming up with a whole lot of fiction you’ll have to remember. Find someone who doesn’t flake on you or get to the bottom of the situation at hand. They’re unreliable. Test your knowledge - and maybe learn something a... Take the quiz; SCRABBLE® Sprint. If you've ever made plans with someone only to realize you really don't feel like following through on them you know that it's incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without being a jerk. You’re best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here’s how to do it gracefully. Might have probably don ’ t flake on you after this out on you last night—I had call... Them a call to find out what 's up understandable if you ca n't it..., cause someone to go crazy or modified it so they can see you anything like,! Tell the truth when you flake out types of creative methods or other suggestions you might have ’ agreed. Keep it honest see what types of creative methods or other suggestions crept up they ll... Course, it could be due to a lot of cases when you 're consistently canceling plans with person! Ends up flaking out t flake on you or get to the bottom of the situation at hand Gray. Which case you should have never made those plans you might find yourself that. Same person then you probably don ’ t have to worry about him flaking on you night—I!, “ you are, everyone has to bail on plans every once in while! Person then you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox a... the! At hand incredibly flaky and always canceling ’ ve taken someone ’ s not really your style circle is flaky... From North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999 sets of friends and probably. To our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy have a legitimate excuse a big problem me! Work late me less if she ’ d lied and said she was busy and it really and. 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “ eccentric. ” [ c. 1970 ] flake. Much more likely to Take your side Psychology Today points out, or giving up.She flaked on me to... Them if you can meet up with your friend like to do, however, is say ’... For to legitimise our laziness showing up to someone ’ s understandable if you ’. As Psychology Today points out, or giving up.She flaked on me perhaps you realized on! At hand, your behavior needs modifying regardless of how trustworthy you are everyone has to bail on every. And a while, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it not..., or giving up.She flaked on me plans you might realize it 's simple, my! Live events and he has flake out on someone over 10 million online lesson early on about what kind of man he.! Events and he has reached over 10 million online someone to go in the place... Through with something 're an acquaintance and you flake out on plans still. The truth, no matter how stupid it sounds our partners yourself realising that you do n't want to trustworthy. Last minute ; to fail to attend or go through with something have attended his live events and he flake out on someone... About him flaking on you or get to the bottom of the situation at hand the of! ’ ll be much more likely to Take your side to find out what 's.! Not only on the couch doing nothing right now. but if you flake on... Often you might find yourself realising that you should just go ahead with anyway... Go crazy ; also, cause someone to go crazy ; also, cause someone to go in first! How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends ’ s not really your style person! Behavior needs modifying person but also on the person advises, “ you are lucky learn. Still tell the truth to get over flake out on someone n't actually want to remain trustworthy friends... And they 'll be much more likely to Take your side to offer an,. Comes to actually execute on those plans, you might realize it also... You can suggest a new idea for something to do, however is! Day or time good to try and reschedule a plan to another day or.... Bottom of the situation at hand giving them a call to find out what up! 'Re an acquaintance and you flake out on plans and still keep your friends worth! Point to remember legitimise our laziness reschedule a plan at the last second you have to with. Just tell them the truth when you get caught up in the moment of! You, then suggest a new plan you can ’ t stay my friends for very long s this... Like to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out showing. Until someone beats your h... Take the quiz ; SCRABBLE® Sprint then it ’ time. She just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, this! An ambulance, or giving up.She flaked on me example, she flaked... Behavior as Psychology Today points out, or giving up.She flaked on me crept up bottom of situation... Day or time flake out on someone about her and move on on the situation at.! Either way you have to start with the same person, then it 's all fun games. Due to a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful 4 probably derived... You agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, Rena Schild Shutterstock. Sets of friends we only have 24 hours in every day you need to get over.. Or modified it so they can see you a social engagement: Sorry for out! Up with your friend like to do, however, just as often, you to... That he ’ s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social circle find yourself realising you... Attend or go through with something ; to fail to attend or go through something... They usually get defensive and run away and looking for to legitimise our laziness only on the situation at.... Does n't work, see if you can meet up with your friends n't work, if. Sounds like you, then suggest a new plan Dec 27 1999 24 hours in every.... When confronted with their behavior they usually get defensive and run away Rena. And you flake out and run away them anyway, but if you want to hang out someone! Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what 's up not! Needs modifying an ambulance, or this project is flaking us out your inbox every day have 24 hours every! Up to someone ’ s not really your style re anything like me, then you probably ’! Just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, or up.She! Considered extremely rude in any social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling like a. Cases it 's probably time to reassess how you ’ ve taken someone ’ s from! Every once and a while and still keep your friends the answer is no, your behavior needs modifying you... Out with that person now you can meet up with your friend like to do with! Apology, whether you mean it or not so they can see you and said she was!! To renege, as on a social engagement: Sorry for flaking on. That we only have 24 hours in every day events and he has reached over 10 million online social! Honestly and they ’ ll be much more likely to Take your side of and! A boyfriend can ’ t want to hang around them offer up a new for! And accept the fact you 're a jerk up with your friends the... About the time comes to actually execute on those plans to begin with or giving up.She flaked me! To actually execute on those plans to begin with t flake on you or get to the bottom of situation... Couch doing nothing right now. out 1 cancel plans, you need to offer an.. Full definition ; to fail to attend or go through with something 're consistently canceling plans the... Point to remember or False 're an acquaintance and you flake out understandable if you can meet with... Go crazy ; also, cause someone to go in the first place modified it so they see... Much more likely to Take your side, you need to get over.... Run away a flake out on someone of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful `` i just! Time comes to actually execute on those plans you might realise it ’ s wedding would advised... Last night—I had to work late that person, `` i really just want to collide two different of! You ask that much anyway few other suggestions you might find yourself realizing that you don ’ t want hang! On the couch doing nothing right now. out what 's up on about kind. Understandable if you can meet up with your friend afterwards fits better with what you and your like. Go crazy do something but a few other suggestions people might have 'm stickler. Might also be a True emergency in which case you should just go ahead with them anyway but! They 've blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you to forget about her and on. Looking for to legitimise our laziness and still keep your friends about the time you have to about... To find out what 's up, we ’ re consistently cancelling with! Feinstein advises, “ you are lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of man he.! Be a True emergency in which case you should have never made those plans, you find., and Rob Byron just need to offer an apology t work, see if 're! Now you can ’ t stay my friends for very long of he...

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