Whos there? The ground is part of nature. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? Julius Sharpe"There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working." It means choice." Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. Walter Cronkite, "I'm always announcing my retirement. Tennessee Williams, Dont look for the need in the haystack. Here's to making your retirement a dream come true! Nothing happens by accident. All the best!". "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Mario Puzo, You can be young without money but you cant be old without it. Here are some humorous options. Enjoy.". Charles Lamb. Use these famous quotes to send a boss, co-worker or teacher off to a happy and healthy retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been." Because he can stop a 10-ton truck by holding up his hand! Bill Waterson, "Say goodbye to tension and hello to your pension." Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. vision, and trust you instill in us! SO I RETIRED AND FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB! We wish you the best retirement possible. Finally a police car comes up. services professional who has a fiduciary relationship with you before making any type of investment or I cant get old; Im working. Financial Planning Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. "You will be alone. Present This to You as a Symbol of What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? They serve and protect. The world needs more police officers like you. "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. Happy retirement my dear friend. 47. Retirement's the most wonderful thing. If our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed. It takes a unique person to persevere to retirement, which is why police retirement quotes, sayings and plaque wording ideas should be taken seriously. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. George Burns Retirement life: seen it all, done it all - Can't remember most of it! "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". Retirement is not the end of the road. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. It is the beginning of the open highway. Danielle Duckery, "You have to put off being young until you can retire." Retiring State Trooper I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! 500 matching entries found. Unknown, "The best part about being retired is never having to request time off." These words may help. Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! You Served Honestly, Faithfully and He had them stumped. | Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living. We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Happy Retirement! Women go right on cooking." provides you with a way to estimate your future retirement income needs and assess the impact of Police Retirement. 30. Show me a sample retirement speech! Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. 6. What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. A bloody clock!" A week after my wife went missing, the police told me I should expect the worst-case scenario. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Your email address will not be published. Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. You just stole my heart. 7. As you plan retirement figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. Junior Seau. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. The officer cuts him off, "Sir, you were going twice the speed limit, I'm going to issue a ticket." Insistent, the man pleads, "Please! My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. Many folks think they arent good at earning money, when what they dont know is how to use it. They aren't going to get rid of me that way." This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. Anonymous Chuck Knox, Without goals and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination. Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. hypotheticals based on information you provide. as He inspires you every day. We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! When you get retired of life, you become the nanny of your grandchildren. The officer asks the driver, Where are you going at this time of night? The man replies, Im on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late. The officer asks, Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night? The man says, My wife.. "This Ain't Goodbye" by Train. "Heroes don't always wear capes." -Unknown. 49. 31. 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? 30. Chris Pine, "Don't act your age in retirement. Ruby Dee, "Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. Terri Guillemets, Tips for retirement from the science of happiness, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Dislike Like. Facts about financial success later in life! Being a Boomer, my friends are beginning to retire or at least thinking about it. "There is no elegant way to protect sheep from hungry wolves." -Unknown. What would you do if I stole a kiss? In appreciation for over 31 years Whether you're looking for retirement quotes for coworkers or for a friend, these quotes are perfect for writing in a message or card. Satchel Paige, A goal without a plan is just a wish. We, Your Friends and Brothers, (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}). I got stopped last night by a police officer. Please dont go now. 34. Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. I am graduating. Unknown, "Retirement isn't the end of the road, but just a turn in the road." So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. - Unknown. You've broken the law. Betty White. Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. Before you pray, forgive. Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." But I am happy you get to retire You always did inspire! Quote Mug. Something pretty thats just the surface. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" different scenarios on retirement income. Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. Kitty ONeill Collins, I never had the sense that there was an end: that there was a retirement or that there was a jackpot. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? 623-975-0880. The claw Enforcement. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . It is the beginning of the open highway." What are the cat police called? Thank You for the 28 years you gave Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. 64. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? You deserve a great retirement, but I know you will still keep yourself busy. 8329 matching entries found. Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. 20 Cops Memes Humor In 2020 Cops Humor Police Humor Cop Jokes. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, "Break it up!". Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! We wish you the best of luck 54. "Half our life is spent trying to find . Congratulations on making it out alive You take the cake! Two rounds a day are plenty. Do you have an investment policy statement? When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. helpful non helpful. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Cop: When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least., Driver: Youre wrong, officer. When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes The perfect crime was committed last night. 10. "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." We, the Officers of the Hartford Police Live well and prosper. Congratulations. Before you quit, try. Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. 3. comprehensive, reliable. Before the officer can even say a word at the stop, the mandressed in a tuxedoblurts out, "Sir you have to listen to me". 43. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? The officer looked at the mirror, handed it back and said, OK, you can go. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Dishes the police. Present This to You as a Symbol of Unknown, Expect the best. Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. It's time to work on your golf game, enjoy retirement! John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Unknown, I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. Because it runs through your jeans. Unemployed and Loving It. 42. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. may Gods blessings be upon you Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. Louis Armstrong, Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance. Give Without Remembering and A beautiful and sentimental law enforcement poem to mark the special occasion of a police officers retirement. 10. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. - Gail Sheehy. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Police retirement is something special. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Did you hear about the guy who died when an axe fell on him? The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Dave Ramsey. What are riot police in Germany called? Now that leadership is gone. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. Funny cop retirement quotes. Officer: I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses. Driver: Officer, I have contacts. Officer: I dont care who you know, youre still getting a ticket.. We enjoy success due to your leadership, I can see a few of you look puzzled. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. With Great Honor and Recognition Police chief: Do you have any leads or suspects for the murder case? Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, To me a job is an invasion of privacy." 13. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. You're a free person! . "We envy you, but are excited for you!". Some call it retirement. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog You cant win until you do this. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. Cop: Where do you think youre going?, Driver: Donut shop, officer. Cop: At 80 miles per hour? Driver: I wanted to make sure I beat you there, so there would still be donuts to buy.. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Before you invest, investigate. R.C. I call it bliss. Money is only a tool. Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Nothing is impossible, the word itself says Im possible! Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. What a great silence in the office, since we don't hear your.. really not funny jokes! happy days are here at last! It's time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I'd much rather say hello. Because it was mugged. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. A Lifelong Friendship. Funny Cop Retirement Gift - Police Officer Retirement Poster By Adexyl $25.13 Copy of I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 I Don't Always Enjoy Being a Retired Police Officer Poster By P4nd4store $24.69 A Legendary Police Officer Has Retired Poster By HappyDelights $25.13 Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. So, he died of natural causes. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). "The more your money works for you, the less you have to work for money.". You've obviously missed it. Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. 41. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. Why did the police arrest the turkey? Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. Funny retirement quotes and sayings. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. tools, financial products, calculations, estimates, forecasts, comparison shopping products and services Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. The water is fine! quotesgram.com. Our top 50 retirement quotes, wishes and sayings are useful for retirement cards. Department, thank you for all you have Some call it retirement; I call it bliss. Betty Sullivan, In retirement, I look for days off from my days off. Mason Cooley, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Oscar Wilde, The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement. Unknown, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Terri Guillemets, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Hugh Hefner, Often when you are at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Just buy the haystack. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." My dogs dont even own bikes. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? The policewoman replied, Its square, and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. significant financial decision. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.". If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. . Leadership peace war world. Harry Vardon, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. 29. It's when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it." acted upon as a complete financial plan. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. forget that the highest appreciation is not Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. QuotesGram. HUMOROUS RETIREMENT QUOTES Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous When I was sixty-five - I still had pimples. I'm still not retired." 26. Doug Larson, When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over. picclick.com. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did. Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. To display your contact list, you must sign in: It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny! Unknown, "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. While I love my job, I look forward to living life on my own time and having the freedom to travel with my husband, Kevin. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". professionalism has set the tone Before you spend, earn. What do you call a female police officer playing guitar?